Monthly Archives: May 2016

The Bhaji Shop, Kelham Island, Sheffield (55%)

Saturday 28th April 2016. That raw sewage sludging down Church Street, Oughtibridge. Bog roll flecking the long turdy streak trailing fifty yards or so. No one seemed to give a fig. My ebullient projections in the Fat Cat were another thing. A council panjandrum tweaking my volume switch from across the room. So much for […]

New Jawad, Rue de Longchamp, Paris (63%)

Thursday 19th May 2016. Some years back, Gargantua and Pantagruel, up to mischief, stuffed a famous pocket stiletto in the earth. The Eiffel. How the ants trail up and down the handle these days. Yet not a Pickles amongst their number. The wedding anniversary pleasure-jaunt up the hoity-toity dining hotspot, The Jules Verne, wasn’t going […]

MG Road, Rue Saint-Martin, Paris (65%)

Tuesday 17th May 2016. Surviving a battery of eggs hurled from the Pont Marie bridge, our Seine cruise boat finally docked. Wind-beaten, gelid, underwhelmed, we headed toward Montparnasse Cemetery, stumbling upon a dishevelled man outside, supine on the pavement. Eyes slammed shut he seemed quite at peace there; sleeping, dead, or dead drunk. Must make […]

Lakshmi Bhavan, Montmartre, Paris (55%)

Sunday 15th May 2016. Hairing it down the famed Rue Foyatier steps, my assailant in hot pursuit, flexing his gold chains like cheese wire between his fists, we dared not stop to look. (It was down these very steps that a slightly inebriated Lionel Blair once perfected his ’Monkeybum Serenade’, by the way. Had Una […]

Zara’s, Crookes, Sheffield (71%)

Friday 6th May 2016. If it aint the condom machine it’s the soap dispenser… I’m afraid they’ve called time on prophylactics at The Closed Shop – so you can put that pound coin away now, Dave. Certainly a lot smarter in those bogs these days but soapless wash basins? Man alive, all those dirty gents […]