Monthly Archives: September 2016

Maveli, City Centre, Sheffield (61%)

Wednesday 14th September 2016. Whoa Fat Belly, Onam-ba-lam Whoa Fat Belly, Onam-ba-lam Fat Belly had a feed, Onam-ba-lam The damn thing Gone wild, Onam-ba-lam No more bananas, man, Onam-ba-lam Damn near gone blind, Onam-ba-lam I said oh, Fat Belly, Onam-ba-lam Whoa Fat Belly, Onam-ba-lam Onam-ba-lam, sweet cheeks, it’s Onam! Keralan rice harvest festival honouring the […]

Masala Dosa Cafe, Ecclesall Road, Sheffield (54%)

Saturday 10th September 2016. Thanks to Skippy my confessions have recently launched worldwide on Facebook. I sense something of the anxiety of a human cannonball tamped down into his gunmetal canon barrel. How marvellous, of course, to arc above the clamouring crowds in my chichi Lycra, my Captain America crash helmet. The children, mouths agape, […]

Gymkhana, Mayfair, London (76%)

Saturday 3rd September 2016. London. That fag-soot belching, gin-swigging doxy. Remember her raucous, shrill sing-a-longs and that prodigious embonpoint? Those days are gone. She’s under the knife most nights. Primped and tucked, lifted and peeled, she exists like a skinned alien captive subdued under scaffold ligatures. Sunken rose madder cheeks suck the fetidness – a […]