Monthly Archives: November 2016

Two States, Hillsborough, Sheffield (66%)

Saturday 26th November 2016. “Don’t let him shoooooot! Don’t let him shoooooot!” Ah, dear Shamim, of Pond’s Forge, five-a-side goalkeeping fame. It was a familiar cry, as I approached goal on one of my snaking runs, ball on a string, Axeman at my heels. Though not quite as satisfying as Mica’s “Too good!” as the […]

Introducing the Gulab Jamun Bonus Point

Sunday 27th November 2016. Soft, milky balls please – soaked in rose syrupy gouts! Shamelessly eschewing the carrot halwa and the ras malai; baulking at the coffee kulfi. Fig kheer? Who gives a fig. It’s those gulab jamun orbs I crave, covet, desiderate. Indian restaurants of the world, kindly accept the cold hard currency of […]

Jumaira, Ecclesfield, Sheffield (74%)

Saturday 19th November 2016. If you have the chance/inclination, check out The Sheffield Star’s Curry House of The Year 2016 Awards. Especially the dismal photos of the ten shortlisted: Bayleaves’ shuttered shop front; Tikka Masala’s teacloths drying in an upstairs window. Spot the abandoned shopping trolley stuffed down Bollywood’s black maw… Images somehow reminiscent of […]

Magna Tandoori, Berwick (61%)

Wednesday 16th November 2016. The other night, during the World Championship broadcast, Grand Master Eric Hansen was described on the Twitter feed as “a cross between James Bond and a bar of Toblerone”. Both Eric and Peter Svidler, commentating at the time, were suddenly convulsed – corpsing, in fact. The comment ultimately won its […]

The Valley Junction 397, Jesmond, Newcastle (68%)

Sunday 13th November 2016. Henning Mankell’s ‘Faceless Killers’ is a suitably austere introduction to Kurt Wallander, the sombrous Swedish detective; a man suffering all manner of familial upheaval and private torment, in between sleuthing gruesome murders. Skane is chill, sparse country – isolated, almost desolate, farmland veiled in impenetrable sleet. Elderly, obsolete farming folk plough […]

Tandoori Night, Richmond, North Yorkshire (61%)

Saturday 5th November 2016. This week, generosity and romance both seemingly triumphed in a viral media story concerning a certain Alex Doyle and Zoe Paton of Launceston, Cornwall. You probably Heard. It’s the one about the anonymous benefactress, a middle-aged woman standing 5ft 4” tall (in sensible shoes) – that’s all we know about her. […]

The Dignified Demeanour Of Brian The Lion

Friday 4th November 2016. Back to the magnificent 7 (7 Spices, City Centre, Sheffield). Still one of my choicest despite its lowly scoring back in April. The very acme for ambience, in my opinion; and in Brian Preston, you have a gem and a gent. Magicked some lime pickle out of nowhere to crown a […]