Rajdhani, Dore Station, Sheffield (64%)


Saturday 3rd June 2017.

Of course, come the pivotal moments, the salient dramatic action, it’s swords and daggers – the text demands it – yet otherwise they’re toting guns; choppers overhead. Is this 1st century BC Rome, or what? I asked myself. We can work out the contemporary parallels ourselves; don’t have to spell it out with a Kalashnikov.

Next you have Cassius, Casca, Octavius, Mettelus – male characters – portrayed by women. Officiating in the Roman senate? It’s not just gender manipulation of the sacred text, it’s egregious violation of iambic pentameter!

“Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look:
He thinks too much: such men are dangerous”


“Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look:
She thinks too much: such women are dangerous”

Suddenly there’s a dangling iambic foot – a surplus syllable.

The baying Roman populus, mis-directed from Hillsborough Interchange, made a polite stab at it. The shuffling lady driving the conspirators out of Rome aided by her walking stick, an abiding image.

Julius Caesar at the Crucible Theatre.

Then – before the news and weather, Champions League Final, Wild Turkey Rye nightcap – an Indian curry at Dore railway station…

(Reported under the heavy influence of meteorological office style forecasting)


Setting: attractive, smart; decor inviting.
Service: courteous, attentive.
Range of beers: Kingfisher, Cobra, Mongoose – bottled.
6-dish pickle tray: lime pickle, the standards, a couple of innovations – excellent.
Squid starter: three rolled squid portions – intensely slimy. No German Bight.
Onion bhaji balls: consistency good; not stratospheric.
Main portions: generous, effectively rendered – chicken tikka madrasi/ghust kata masala. Authentic profiles, plus minor flourish: veering.
Garlic naan: moderate, touch dry and flakey.




Judge ‘Gonzo’ Pickles
Fred ‘Skippy’ Pickles


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