Author Archives: Judge 'Gonzo' Pickles

The Maharaja, Villajoyosa, Spain (66%)

Wednesday 17th May 2017. “I sympathize afresh with the mighty Voltaire, who, when badgered on his deathbed and urged to renounce the devil, murmured that this was no time to be making enemies.” (Christopher Hitchens – almost on his deathbed) Whether complaining about the incessant repetitions of the Indian mantra serenading our dining table from […]

Tikka Masala, Walkley, Sheffield (63%)

Tuesday 25th April 2017. “Your kids will love this place! It is so engaging for children. I highly recommend it. The only thing that we noticed is that some fish had a kind of infection and looked sick.” That’s a TripAdvisor review of “Ripley’s Aquarium of Canada”, by the way. Which is in Toronto, where […]

Aagrah, City Centre, Sheffield (65%)

Friday 21st April 2017. “I believe that the spirits are your parents and their parents and their parents and their parents and they are in your bloodstream, and they run through your body constantly. Because they want you to live on, because they want to live on. And they’re trying all the time to tell […]

Heaton’s Tandoori, Shaw Road, Stockport (68%)

Saturday 15th April 2017. Sharon and Bangers both work for the government in concrete bunker nerve centres, maybe somewhere near you. Their tentacles reach out all over the land. That’s not the whole truth. Unfortunately, I cannot divulge more than that without my toenails facing threat of reprisals. Long time since I last saw Bangers. […]

Shadhona, South Street, Bishop’s Stortford (59%)

Saturday 8th April 2017. Madame Cholet’s burrow on Grange Road accepts paying guests under precarious terms. The key to the front door, for instance, mysteriously withheld. We negotiated a testy agreement to a midnight curfew. Andy Lev crouched poised behind a convenient wheel arch, in case things got gnarly. Boozy late afternoon’s work of sun […]

Al Amir, Talbot Road, Blackpool (58%)

Saturday 11th March 2017. “Are we fallen angels who didn’t want to believe that nothing is nothing and so we were born to lose our loved ones and dear friends one by one and finally our own life, to see it proved?” “The Dharma Bums” – a naked disquisition on all those cool, existential questions. […]

Cutlers Spice, Gleadless, Sheffield, (53%)

Friday 24th February 2017. Indian restaurant review number 25 – in Sheffield that is. I was targeting a total of 50 at one stage in the full heat of my madness. Now I’m not sure I even have a target. I want to sit in the summer house more often: the wendy shed at the […]