Category Pickles’ Briefs

Zara, Hadham Road, Bishop’s Stortford (61%)

Saturday 12th August 2017. 1987 was a big year for a restless stripling kiss-chasing screaming girls across Parsonage Lane playground…  Inspired, fifteen year old, zitty punks squatting pumped hams like Brian Jacks (who pips Geoff Capes to kiss-chase gold at The World Athletics Championship). Steamy possibilities awakened by a squawking Cilla Black jiggling her booty to […]

“And now these three remain: love, hope and curry.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)

“…But the greatest of these is love.” (Curry coming a close second.) Being Valentine’s Day I thought this recent news story would suit. It reminded me, oddly, of Philip Larkin’s “An Arundel Tomb”, a poem about one of those showy, stone tomb chests you find in chilly, English cathedrals embellished with recumbent carved figures representing the […]

Big Frank & The Hillsborough Dick

Friday 6th January 2017. I could smell the sugar puffs on her breath. Show me the honey mummy, I quipped to myself. I meant the bunce, the spondoolicks, the finders fee, capiche? “My poor Gingernob,” she sobs. “Listen Lady,” I say, “you got to keep it together. Nobfink needs you strong. He needs a warm […]

The Gonzos

Saturday 24th December 2016. Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum/Sheffield gin/Japanese whisky/ginseng & grapefruit (whatever your tipple basically) – festive tidings to one and all! And a toasty keema pie and hot toddy welcome to The Gonzos – my end of Year curry awards. It’s been a testing journey across land and sea […]

Introducing the Gulab Jamun Bonus Point

Sunday 27th November 2016. Soft, milky balls please – soaked in rose syrupy gouts! Shamelessly eschewing the carrot halwa and the ras malai; baulking at the coffee kulfi. Fig kheer? Who gives a fig. It’s those gulab jamun orbs I crave, covet, desiderate. Indian restaurants of the world, kindly accept the cold hard currency of […]