Category Pickles Strays (Yonder)

Passage to India, Whitby, (62%)

Friday 26th May 2017. Guess what, a bunch of gregarious types supplanting profanities for punctuation plonked right beside within tsking distance. An otherwise deserted landscape of fanned napkins and upturned wine glasses recursively diminishing into cavernous darkness. A troglodyte Mecca. Regulation pickle tray, you know the drill: chopped onions, raita, mango chutney, lime pickle. Felt […]

The Maharaja, Villajoyosa, Spain (66%)

Wednesday 17th May 2017. “I sympathize afresh with the mighty Voltaire, who, when badgered on his deathbed and urged to renounce the devil, murmured that this was no time to be making enemies.” (Christopher Hitchens – almost on his deathbed) Whether complaining about the incessant repetitions of the Indian mantra serenading our dining table from […]

Heaton’s Tandoori, Shaw Road, Stockport (68%)

Saturday 15th April 2017. Sharon and Bangers both work for the government in concrete bunker nerve centres, maybe somewhere near you. Their tentacles reach out all over the land. That’s not the whole truth. Unfortunately, I cannot divulge more than that without my toenails facing threat of reprisals. Long time since I last saw Bangers. […]

Shadhona, South Street, Bishop’s Stortford (59%)

Saturday 8th April 2017. Madame Cholet’s burrow on Grange Road accepts paying guests under precarious terms. The key to the front door, for instance, mysteriously withheld. We negotiated a testy agreement to a midnight curfew. Andy Lev crouched poised behind a convenient wheel arch, in case things got gnarly. Boozy late afternoon’s work of sun […]

Al Amir, Talbot Road, Blackpool (58%)

Saturday 11th March 2017. “Are we fallen angels who didn’t want to believe that nothing is nothing and so we were born to lose our loved ones and dear friends one by one and finally our own life, to see it proved?” “The Dharma Bums” – a naked disquisition on all those cool, existential questions. […]

Saravanaa Bhavan, Stadhouderskade, Amsterdam, (53%)

Saturday 21st January 2017. Amsterdam reminds me of hip, attractive districts of New York. Tall, red-brick town houses crowding elegant tree-lined avenues. Greenwich Village say. Except I don’t mean ‘reminds me’ because I’ve never been to New York. I mean I imagine it, or extrapolate it from the opening credits of The Cosby Show, or […]

Ashoka, Spuistraat, Amsterdam (65%)

Wednesday 18th January 2017. When we arrived in Amsterdam our aeroplane drove over the dual carriageway along a sort of viaduct for aircraft. Like a bird of doom or Jimbo & The Jetsets. It was a long taxi to the terminal. Then another taxi to The Jordaan Suite, the one room B&B in the fancy […]