Category Pickles Strays (Yonder)

Ruby’s, Hockerill Street, Bishop’s Stortford (67%)

Saturday 2nd December 2017. “This aint no place for no hero. This aint no place for no better man. To call home.” (The Heavy) Another popular lyric victim to the widespread scourge of the double negative. Strictly speaking, the place this heavy’s banging on about is, in fact, just dandy for ‘no hero’; only, I […]

Taj Mahal Tandoori, Bowmore, Islay (61%)

Tuesday 19th September 2017. Walking up Bowmore Main Street with barley grains in my shoes passing straight by the Co-op in a whisky-spiked stupor. Doubling back to fetch that San Miguel four pack still tasting the Bowmore signature flavours of treacle toffee, that whisper of peat. It’s still there in the fresh, clear spirit, newly […]

Lal Qila, Wilmslow Road, Manchester (67%)

Saturday 19th August 2017. We were at one of the Manchester University campus buildings for a chess tournament, stopping at the Chancellor Hotel. The campus was pretty much deserted, just these chess ghouls wandering around looking vague. You go into the room and you shake some guys hand, usually a threadbare middle-aged type like me, […]

Zara, Hadham Road, Bishop’s Stortford (61%)

Saturday 12th August 2017. 1987 was a big year for a restless stripling kiss-chasing screaming girls across Parsonage Lane playground…  Inspired, fifteen year old, zitty punks squatting pumped hams like Brian Jacks (who pips Geoff Capes to kiss-chase gold at The World Athletics Championship). Steamy possibilities awakened by a squawking Cilla Black jiggling her booty to […]

Passage to India, Whitby, (62%)

Friday 26th May 2017. Guess what, a bunch of gregarious types supplanting profanities for punctuation plonked right beside within tsking distance. An otherwise deserted landscape of fanned napkins and upturned wine glasses recursively diminishing into cavernous darkness. A troglodyte Mecca. Regulation pickle tray, you know the drill: chopped onions, raita, mango chutney, lime pickle. Felt […]

The Maharaja, Villajoyosa, Spain (66%)

Wednesday 17th May 2017. “I sympathize afresh with the mighty Voltaire, who, when badgered on his deathbed and urged to renounce the devil, murmured that this was no time to be making enemies.” (Christopher Hitchens – almost on his deathbed) Whether complaining about the incessant repetitions of the Indian mantra serenading our dining table from […]

Heaton’s Tandoori, Shaw Road, Stockport (68%)

Saturday 15th April 2017. Sharon and Bangers both work for the government in concrete bunker nerve centres, maybe somewhere near you. Their tentacles reach out all over the land. That’s not the whole truth. Unfortunately, I cannot divulge more than that without my toenails facing threat of reprisals. Long time since I last saw Bangers. […]