“…But the greatest of these is love.” (Curry coming a close second.) Being Valentine’s Day I thought this recent news story would suit. It reminded me, oddly, of Philip Larkin’s “An Arundel Tomb”, a poem about one of those showy, stone tomb chests you find in chilly, English cathedrals embellished with recumbent carved figures representing the […]

Saturday 21st January 2017. Amsterdam reminds me of hip, attractive districts of New York. Tall, red-brick town houses crowding elegant tree-lined avenues. Greenwich Village say. Except I don’t mean ‘reminds me’ because I’ve never been to New York. I mean I imagine it, or extrapolate it from the opening credits of The Cosby Show, or […]

Wednesday 18th January 2017. When we arrived in Amsterdam our aeroplane drove over the dual carriageway along a sort of viaduct for aircraft. Like a bird of doom or Jimbo & The Jetsets. It was a long taxi to the terminal. Then another taxi to The Jordaan Suite, the one room B&B in the fancy […]

Friday 13th January 2017. “If I know the world, which is doubtful, but if I do, I know it is chaotic, mean and vicious, with laws cast in the wrong moulds, a fair conception gone awry, in short an awful place, and yet, and yet a place capable of glory in those rare moments when […]

Saturday 7th January 2017. The next morning, 8am, I’m slumped in the bath tub. I had a hangover and I was reading Bukowski’s “Pulp”. He was saying, “Sometimes I thought about my liver, but my liver never spoke up, it never said, ‘Stop it, you’re killing me and I’m going to kill you!’ If we […]

Friday 6th January 2017. I could smell the sugar puffs on her breath. Show me the honey mummy, I quipped to myself. I meant the bunce, the spondoolicks, the finders fee, capiche? “My poor Gingernob,” she sobs. “Listen Lady,” I say, “you got to keep it together. Nobfink needs you strong. He needs a warm […]

Saturday 24th December 2016. Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum/Sheffield gin/Japanese whisky/ginseng & grapefruit (whatever your tipple basically) – festive tidings to one and all! And a toasty keema pie and hot toddy welcome to The Gonzos – my end of Year curry awards. It’s been a testing journey across land and sea […]